I was at 36 weeks pregnant, went in for a routine check, and my blood pressure had gone through the roof!
My doctor said, “Okay, are you ready to go have a baby today?” I got upset and said, “No, I have to clean my house!” So we scheduled an induction for three days later.
That night, I checked into the hospital and got some medication.
I was there all night and didn’t sleep at all. When I woke up the next morning, we started the Pitocin and then we just waited. I had no birth plan. My plan was: if you can do it natural, do it; if not, there’s no shame.
The medication I took the night before had started active labor but I hadn’t progressed.
After about 18 hours, I said, “Okay, let’s do the epidural.” They told my husband he had to leave the room, but after about 20 minutes he could come back. So he went to go eat with our families.
He came back an hour and a half later and they still weren’t done with my epidural.
I had two nurse anesthetists and three anesthesiologist try. Apparently I have extra bone in-between each of my vertebrae that prevents me from ever getting an epidural!
My absolutely amazing doctor came in then, saw me, and said, “Do you know what you’re going to do today? You’re going to have a natural childbirth. And you know what? You’re going to do amazing!”
So I just kind of looked at her with this fear in my eyes and said, “Okay.” She said, “You’ve got this. You have no other option and you’re going to do this for your beautiful baby boy.” By this point I had such a bad migraine from being up all night, I did ask for something for the migraine and they gave me extra fluids.
My mom and husband were amazing.
My mom was my cheerleader – she always has been. After about 2 hours of pushing, I looked at my husband and said, “I tap out. I’m done!” He looked at me and said, “No, you are amazing and strong and you can do this! You are bringing our baby boy in to this world!”
You go through this long process (and for my husband and I, this crazy journey) and you try and try… and I was so afraid to have my son, because when he was with me he was safe! He went to work with me, he was there for everything, and I couldn’t be there 24/7 anymore. We prayed so hard for him and tried so hard for him.
But he was right, my body knew what to do.
My son is like me and wanted things to be on his own time! And my doctor was absolutely right! After 32 hours of active labor and three hours of pushing, I did what I had to do and what my body had to do for my beautiful baby boy.
I thought I loved him before he was even here, but the moment I saw his face… there isn’t any kind of love like that!
I was exhausted. I had been awake for 48 hours, in active labor for 32 hours, and pushing for 3 hours. In between every contraction, I was getting sick.
But the moment he was placed on my chest all that melted away.
Every moment, every loss we had experienced, every tear… had all been worth it. He was my little miracle and I was meant to be his mom! My husband is a tough guy (big hunter, sheriff’s office canine handler). He saw my son and he was overwhelmed with joy, relief, and probably a little exhaustion too! He could not stop looking at him! We were both in awe!
And even though it wasn’t the easiest of labors, it was just long. I would do it all over again (everyday!) just to have the chance to be this little boy’s mom!
One great thing about a failed epidural: I was up walking around with my son within the hour. I helped with his first bath, I went for every test… that perfect, amazing boy wasn’t leaving my side even for a second. Besides my 3-day work-week, that’s how it has been since he was born!
I wanted to try to provide my child with the best nourishment and we began breastfeeding. No one warns you for how hard that will be, but it was something I was proud I could do for my son. I am proud to say we made it 18 months before he self-weaned!